Previously, after the miscarriage of Christine Teigen, she finally hearts out her emotions in a manuscript on Medium. Teigen took this bit to thank her fans and people around her for supporting her, acknowledging [after we first lost our Jack, I found myself incredibly worried that I was not able to thank everyone for their extreme kindness. Many shared incredible personal experiences, some shared books, and poems. I wanted to thank everyone, share our story with each person. But I knew I was not in the state too. For me, the ‘no need to respond’ note was such a relief. I thank you for each one of those.] The model as well as cookbook author Chrissy Teigen commenced her essay by jotting down [I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. part of me thought it would be early on when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened.]
Teigen, a mother who lost her child
Teigen explained her pain about coming back home with no baby in her hands [I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I would have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally, get the chance to address “what happened….] On Medium, the model thanked each and everyone again who had supported her during this hardship. [notes have flooded in and have each been read with our teary eyes, social media messages from strangers with- you probably won’t read this but I can assure you, I did.” Teigen recounted the moments of losing her unborn baby “Jack”, “bled and bled, lightly but all day, changing my diapers every couple of hours when the blood got uncomfortable to lay in.] She continued composing about her short-lived moments with Jack [the fluid around Jack had become very low, he was barely able to float around. At some points, I swore it was so low I could lay on my back and feel his arms and legs from outside my belly.] She moved on to tell her husband’s thoughts [after a couple of nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming, it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.] After the couple had posted a picture of Teigen on Instagram precisely after the heartbreak of losing Jack, Teigen opened about her husband’s misery in taking that personal picture, stating [he hated it, I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I knew I needed to share this story.]
Christine Teigen explained the reason behind posting that heartbreaking picture.
The model decided to inscribe a small note considering the people who have faced the same grieving as her [I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos are not for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.] Following, she uttered the precious moments that late Jack had shared with each family member in the operation room [I had been laying on my side, switching sides every hour or so, whenever the nurse told me to. I remember laying on my right side, looking opposite to John, when I was told to make my switch. I opened my legs and started to turn to face John and just like that, he was on his way out. The doctors yelled at me for a bit and I don’t know what to say, even now. He was out. My mom, John, and I each held him and said our private goodbyes, mom sobbing through Thai prayer, I asked the nurse to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again. I have no idea when I stopped. It could have been 10 minutes or an hour.] Subsequently, she penned down about her healing from the nightmare of losing her boy Jack, explaining how she got comfort and tenderness from her four-year-old daughter Luna and two years old son Miles. She concluded her writing by engraving [Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky. With so much love, Chrissy.]